31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from
drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it
off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot
candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS. There is no less erotic
noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced
yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get
too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with
snapped hamstrings.
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal
stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women
don't.
35) GIVING LOVE BITES. It is highly erotic to exert some gentle
suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman
wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on
end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don't shout encouragement like a coach
with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.
37) TALKING DIRTY. It makes you sound like a lonely magazine
editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let
you know
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. You have to finish the job.
Keep on trying unt il you get it right, and she might even do the
same for you.
39) SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if
you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.
40) THANKING HER. Never thank a woman for having sex with
you.Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.
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